Fart Football

My husband emailed this to me today. How can something so disgusting be so funny to us? I don't know...but it's hilarious.

An old married couple no sooner hit the pillows when the old man passes gas and says, 'Seven points.'

His wife rolls over and says, 'What in the world was that?'

The old man replied, 'It's fart football.'

A few minutes later his wife lets one go and says 'Touchdown, tie score.'

After about five minutes the old man lets another one go and says, 'Aha. I'm ahead 14 to 7.'

Not to be outdone the wife rips out another one and says, 'Touchdown, tie score.' Five seconds go by and she lets out a little squeaker and says, 'Field goal, I lead 17 to 14.'

Now the pressure is on the old man. He refuses to get beaten by a woman, so he strains real hard. Since defeat is totally unacceptable, he gives it everything he's got, and accidentally poops the bed.

The wife says, 'What the heck was that?'

The old man says, 'Half time, switch sides.'

1st Grade

Alexis started 1st grade 3 weeks ago.
Here she is on her way out the door for 1st day of 1st grade.

She couldn't have been more thrilled to go!
A NEW school. A NEW teacher. NEW friends.

But don't feel too bad for all the NEW-ness...she is in the same class as her cousin, Chelsea.

Remember, back in this post, when I told you about how dangerous these two can be. They are competitive yet the best of friends. When they were in soccer camp last summer together they were slide tackling each other. NO JOKE! At 5 years old. And when Alexis didn't fall down when Chelsea slid tackled her she started doing the bicyle...something her mother (18 months older than me) did to me whenever she was mad at me! Is it genetic of taught? Must be genetic since I don't remember Mindy doing it to me since Middle School. Anyhow, you can imagine Mindy and I considered talking to the teacher about them...but we thought...NO, they need to understand if they mess up they will be split. And they don't want that.

Even worse than being in the same class...look at where they sit!

3 weeks into it...I finally decided to ask the teacher about them at pick-up one day. I figure the kids had to have spilled the beans by now. And according to their teacher: "They are 2 of the most well behaved kids in the class. In fact, they are really good for each other. They keep each other working hard and they pick each other up when they are down."

Mindy and I were a little shocked...but pleased, too.

Okay...but that's not all. In the other 1st grade class next to them is another cousin, our sister, Jillyn's daughter! All 3 in 1st grade! So fun. (Next year we each have a Kindergartner going in too!) So these 3 get to be together at recess and lunch!

Alexis, Emily and Chelsea after their first day of 1st Grade.
Does it really get much better than this?